Penn Station NYC

Gregory

This is a little out of chronological order, but I just thought I'd share about our outreach at Penn Station in NYC Thursday evening.  We took the train to Penn Station.  The Jersey station was only a block from where the NYC Relief base is.  We'd had our briefing before we headed out.  Katy was leading us.  She'd done this before.  We each were placed in a team of 2.  Chuck and I were a team.  This business at Penn Station is going to become a regular outing for NYC Relief (I suppose it might already be), and the future looks to hold other opportunities where reaching others without needing "the bus" is the approach.  

Anyway,  each team was given $20, and our assignment was to search for those who appeared homeless.  Most of us felt kinda bad trying to "judge" the look of a homeless person by his or her appearance.  I would say that some of us might have been nervous.  I didn't think that I was.  

Train ride took 30 minutes maybe - I don't really remember.  All I remember is that our stop was the last stop.  Once inside Penn Station, we huddled and were given our assigned area.  Chuck and I were on the same level where we started...whatever level that was.  We just knew we didn't have to go up or down - and ultimately we found out all we did was pretty much walk in large circles.  So the time had come....and I spied the first potential homeless person.  I'd spied her much earlier (well, ok - like 5 minutes earlier).  

What did I say earlier?  That I thought I wasn't nervous?  WRONG!  I thought wrong and was wrong.  I did not know how to do any kind of cold approach to someone I actually hoped was homeless.  What do I say?  What if we are wrong?  What if I offend?  This woman - a black woman who was constantly on the move - had a luggage pulley full of duffle bags.  She was dressed in a myriad of clothing -  none matching.  I don't recall her shoes though I think they were something like an open toed slide or croc or something.  Her feet and lower leg/ankles were large and scaly.  they looked painful to me.  Chuck and I walked back and forth past this woman.  I just could not figure out what to say.  Then we heard from Katy that this woman was here a lot and never spoke to anyone, so we should be gentle.  Steve then put the pressure on by saying that he gave us a 75/25% chance of making a connection and me kissing the woman on the cheek.  So I was determined.  But I was not yet able.   Then thankfully Josiah walked close enough for us to yell for him...and we asked him how to start off the whole conversation.  He gave us a couple lines we could use.  I tried a couple - just asking her how she was doing this evening...this poor woman I think was either terrified to speak, deaf, did not speak English or simply was not interested in real, human contact. I wished her a good evening and turned away. Chuck and I had walked several yards and I just could not give up. I wanted so badly to reach this lady. I mean, surely I had something in me that could break down this wall....right? I had Jesus. He is what I was offering. Well, Him...and socks and maybe a meal. So I tried again. I wish I could adequately describe her eyes - what little I had the chance to see. They never looked at me directly but were averted and led her eventually completely away from me. Reluctant and a bit deflated, I moved on. This lady's time was not now and was not with me. I was momentarily sad but knew the mission to rescue and feed at least one person was still "on."

We passed and attempted to talk to several men. There was the man who was either sleeping or who was super high on something and about to literally tip onto his head. Then there was the man who barely spoke English but seemed interested in what we were offering. That conversation got cut short by a cop. That whole thing is a different story by itself. In the end we gave the man a pair of socks and moved on. Kevin was next. He was grateful for some socks.

We walked around for what seemed like forever. We passed Bev and Jo Ann several times. We somehow avoided a young man asking everyone for money. We did not purposely pursue or avoid him but he walked beyond our path. Then we decided to go downstairs for a pass at somewhere different.  At the top of the escalator, we noticed a tall man standing against the wall/beam (whatever it really was) - in a Navy hoodie and I think coat.  I first noticed his ginormous, alien looking head inside the hoodie and covered completely inside by something else.  I presumed it was dreads...but I didn't think much about once we approached him.  This man was asking if anyone could spare some change.  He was so quiet - trying to stay in the shadows almost.  But he was desperate.  Just a few moments with Gregory, and Chuck and I both knew this was "our man."  He was gonna eat like a king this night.  We chatted for only a few minutes - found out a little about him.  He was newly homeless - only 5 weeks.  He had had a job as a dishwasher and some other title at a "hoity toity" (his words) sports bar. ( Later he used the phrase "high end.")  He could not make rent and had to move out of his place (I don't recall him using the word "evicted" but he could have).  He had to move his things into storage - a place he would share with another person. He had just gotten a phonecall that he needed to pay his share for storage or come get his stuff.  Gregory was really pretty private about his life.  But hey - we'd only been friends maybe 15 minutes.  We asked him if he was hungry, and he gave a definite, 'yes.'  We told him we'd like to get him something to eat and asked what he'd like.  Remember, I had "eat like a king" in mind.  But I kinda knew that would be relative since we were in Penn Station.  Gregory said he really likes McDonald's cookies.  I could only picture those boxes of McDonald Land cookies from ages ago.  I didn't know they have real cookies.  Well, I told Gregory that he needed to get a meal (although I was secretly in denial that McDonald's was actually food and wishing we could go somewhere better.).  He ordered, and I absolutely LOVED buying this man a meal.  There was a lady in line who kept sorta looking our way and smiling.  On her way out, she touched my arm to get my attention, looked me in the eye with a big smile and said, "what you are doing is beautiful.  thank you."  Wow.  speechless.

Gregory did NOT seem homeless to me.  I don't know why.  He kinda broke my visual stereotype.  He was not unkempt in my personal opinion.  He spoke so that I could understand him which was far more than anyone else we had previously met.  His eyes were NOT dilated.  He was so gracious.  Polite.  Grateful.  He thanked us so many times for the meal.  Before, during, and after.  Ya know....I think he might even have had most or all of his teeth. :-)   We talked a long time at McDonald's.  Chuck and I chose to not eat - I know for me just so I could focus on Gregory and not worry about trying to eat.  Of course then I somehow managed to ask him a question right when he put a big bite into his mouth.  Gregory seemed to savor his food.  Two cheeseburgers, fries, large drink, and two chocolate chip cookies.  He shared with us that he rides the subway all night long.  He doesn't really sleep then though, because it is not safe. I can't even begin to imagine what it might be like to ride into the wee hours of the morning...I didn't want to ask if Gregory was afraid of other homeless men, young gang members, upper class drunk party-goers....I think I didn't really want to know the answer and it felt too personal . I'm not quite sure yet why that particular question seemed a potential one to offend...or maybe it would not have offended Gregory but would have shamed me if I knew the truth.  Gregory told us about his family a bit.  He even has a brother in Jersey...one who has a job for him whenever he wants it.  Gregory told us he loves the city.  He could never leave.  I must admit that I wasn't quite getting it.  I'm pretty sure (at least I think I am) that if I had a job in a different city....I'd choose that over being homeless and riding a train/subway all night and panhandling.  We just kinda moved forward with our conversation.  We learned that Gregory had just had a birthday and turned 50.  He told us a little about how crazy it was during 9/11.  Not being able to get in our out of the city...subway and all public transit shutdown....All in all we had a great conversation.  Finally I just couldn't stand not asking....I wanted to know...to try to understand how one chooses this life over one with a job.  I think I just sorta said something like, "so do you think you'll head to Jersey to take that job?"  And then he opened up and told us that "this was what I was trying not to say earlier - I'm on probation.  5 years.  "  Now it all made sense.  Now my heart actually ached for Gregory.  I don't exactly know why.  It just did.  He shared that he had been accused of something he didn't do.  He had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.  My earlier assessment of him staying in the shadows was accurate.  He told us he did not want to get near other homeless people - he needed to stay out of trouble - out of any chance of being near trouble that often breaks out.  He was genuine.  He mentioned God and grace.  He allowed us to pray.  He took our flyer about the Relief Bus - and he seemed very interested as we shared about what they do.  He said he'd be at Chelsea Park the next day.  Sadly, we knew we would not be at Chelsea...but the other half of our team would be.  I so wish I would have gotten his picture.  He laughed when I asked about his hidden person in the hoodie...and he assured me they were dreadlocks.  Our conversation with Gregory was so ......natural.  I wanted to "adopt" him....somehow find a way to take care of him until he could get back on his feet.  But I know the best way to take care of him is to place him in the arms of Jesus and the hands of someone like the Relief Bus who can make connections for him.

This story has no miracle ending.  It has no awful, long, saga of addiction and abuse and violence.  This was a guy....IS a guy who made a couple of bad decisions, had "luck" fall against him, and now he is on the streets.  This is a perfect example of how we here in suburbia, Indiana can be just one step away from homelessness.  God leveled the playing field for us that night....before we even entered Penn Station.  He knew what we needed to hear, who we needed to see, and how our hearts need to be changed.  God knows I have no trouble touching, praying for, speaking to someone who looks and acts poor and dirty and strung out.  My compassion for women in these situations runs deep.  It's the ones that seem like me....seem like they should be able to make a change...get some help, find a relative, SOMETHING.  I obviously don't know Gregory's whole story.  I don't need to know it.  I know God put him in our path.  his smile drew me into his space.  The Holy Spirit did the rest.  So amazing how things work when I stop trying so dang hard and just show up and pay attention to what GOD is already doing. He will always amaze.