Getting Ready

Friday Night

Well, Sunday is just about here.  Tonight will put some things in a bag and gather other things to pack tomorrow.  I think I am more nervous this time than the first time I went on this trip.  I don't think that is a bad thing necessarily - it just IS.  I mean, my goodness, I'm trying to get ready to meet Jesus!
Not as in, "I'm going to Heaven" in a few days....actually not planning that at all.  But who knows...I suppose that is totally a possibility that only God knows. 

Anyway, Sunday I meet my friend Marie and parts of her sweet family who are not off being schooled by some university at the moment.  Then....well, then our team will head to the Relief Bus "kitchen and dorm and office" building in Elizabeth, NJ.  That's Tuesday evening.  I'm sure as we gather for pizza we will be ramping up our spiritual and physical nervous system not to mention blood pressure and heart rate.  I sure hope one of our leaders has something to settle an excited and slightly anxious heart...or maybe I will just take some medicine...anyone got any good ideas?  :-)  

In all seriousness, I AM a tad nervous about people seeing Jesus in me.  Actually, about possibly NOT seeing Jesus in me.  This trip is so NOT about me but the Kingdom of God.  But darn if it is not a little bit hard to not want to be the "best humble" person.  What an oxymoron.  See, I KNOW the depths of what we will see and hear.  I KNOW how I was changed.  Because I DID meet Jesus last time I was here.  Such a strange concept of wanting the least of these to see Jesus in me while knowing that serving the least of these is seeing Jesus.  It's kinda like Jesus looking in a mirror and saying, "hey there. I know you."  Would that not be the coolest thing EVER!?!  But how do I prepare?  Well, I don't think I really can.  Oh sure, I can prepare to "be prepared" to serve soup and hot chocolate and bread.  I've thought about (barely) the rules for the bus and for security.  I even remember about going 3 questions deep.  I know I'll be sporting a lovely hair net and stirring the soup with a paddle that could propel a canoe.  It's really pretty easy to prepare for things to DO.  But being ready to "just be" takes a lot more of doing a lot less things.  I'm no social butterfly.  If you know anything about me, you know this to be true.  All that means is that I don't get energized when I'm in a crowd of people or entertaining a large group...I get drained.  But give me a one-on-one scenario, and I could talk (or not talk and just listen) for hours.  And let me tell you that listening to the stories of those who live on the streets in NYC is fascinating.  Add to that the opportunity to pray for these people, and God opens doors, closes windows, seals cracks, and binds wounds.  Amazing.

So what will it ultimately take for me to feel ready to greet the homeless?  How do I say, "hi?"  I must let Jesus level the playing field...in MY heart.  The only real difference between who I meet and me - is stuff of this world.  Otherwise, we each have a soul - created by the same creator.  God created in us a desire for love and belonging.  He wants to be our first love and out of that will flow our love for others.  We both want the same thing whether we know it or not.  We were created for love by love.  Many of us have journeyed similar paths - similar valleys - with similar hurts - and similar rescues by Jesus.  Some of us get hooked on crack and some of us get hooked on TV or the computer or books or food or self.  Some of us have managed to evade homelessness and poverty.  Some of us have not.  Some of us rely totally on Jesus, because there simply is no one on this earth to trust.  Some of us rely on Jesus even though there are some trustworthy people in our lives.  And some of us pretend to rely on Jesus - only to find ourselves crushed when something bad happens.  I hope you have trouble knowing which of these descriptions is for someone I will meet next week.  Truth is - it could be any of them.  It could be all of them.  I challenge and encourage you to find which ones describe you!  

In some respects, this trip is easy.  I know what I am being called to do and be.  When the disciples heard from Jesus in Matthew 25 about "the least of these" - they were learning for the first time how near and dear the poor, the widowed, and the orphaned are to Jesus' heart.  I already know.  I guarantee it's harder when I head to downtown Indy and try to talk to the homeless guy in front of an office building.  Tossing coins or bills into a jug or hat or guitar case is not tough - but leveling that field and striking up a conversation?  On a busy day?  Spending "my" time that was not already carved out for this?  Whoa.  

Well - I've rambled enough.  Am I ready yet?  Nothing's packed really.  Nothing's got a full charge.  I don't know the latest forecast.  But ya know what?  Just writing all this in babbly form to whoever might choose to read has helped calm my angst a bit.  I know I can do this.  I know Jesus will be with me...in me...looking back at me.  I know his Holy Spirit will guide me, nudge me, speak through me, and sustain me.  I just needed to tell someone.  Lucky YOU!

Until the next post...which could be tomorrow and could be in a week...

For the least of these....

Jo